*EDIT: Thanks for all of the feedback! Keep it coming! I should have also said I'm not really a fan of the 4 names thing. That's just way too much for me to write :) For those who might be curious, my dad also votes for Tia Neely Kauffman. I also should have mentioned that Lorraine was my paternal grandmother's middle name, in case that influences any comments.*
Unless you live under a rock, you know that I'm getting married next week (NEXT WEEK!!!).
I'm debating with to do with my name when I get married. Bryan is fine with me keeping my name or taking his, although last week when I said I was keeping my own, he wanted to know why and said it made him sad. I really was just testing him out though, and I found out that he would really like it if I changed it.
So here's the debate. Many women I know have turned their maiden name into their middle name. My best friend didn't, but "only because I hated my maiden name."
My current name: Tia Lorraine Neely
Fiance's last name: Kauffman
Should I be: Tia Lorraine Kauffman or Tia Neely Kauffman
For the record, I hate dual last names or hyphenating, so there will be no Neely-Kauffman going on. If I keep Neely, it will be strictly my middle name, and I won't walk around like Catherine Zeta Jones telling everyone to call me by 3 names.
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8 comments:
Mom says to drop the Lorraine as Grandma is gone and I used her name to make her happy but I do like the name Tia Neely Kauffman. The neely honors us and I understand that you will only use the name Tia Kauffman when you introduce yourself but I think it would be nice to use the Neely name as your middle name.
Mom
I like Tia Neely Kauffman. I don't even have a middle name, so my maiden name became my middle name. It wasn't anything I had to think about.
I was (and I suppose am) stuck with this exact same choice for the exact same reasons. Personally though, it was never really a choice because so much thought went into the choosing of my first and middle names and I would feel very strange losing that. Most parents pick a middle name carefully. I know that when I think about what I want to name my future kids the middle name is extremely important and often significant, and I'd be sad if they chose to drop it later in life. Also I have no particular attachment to my maiden name as I'm not close with my dad's side of the family. So for me I went with First Middle Married instead of First Maiden Married. But if you (and your family) don't feel any kind of attachment to your middle name and you DO feel an attachment to your last name, then you could use my same logic and come to a different conclusion.
Sorry! I'm not much help.
I think it's a tough and personal choice, what about having all four? Or sticking with Neely for professional reasons and using Kauffman informally? Maybe too complicated, but I think it means a lot to your identity: so do what you really want :)
Could you possibly just have two middle names (I do)?
i'm greek and it is part of our culture to have our maiden name turn into our middle name. so i would go with that one for sure : )
it sounds good too!
I'm in the same kind of boat, except I have a few years to figure it out, not a week (getting excited yet??)
Mmm, I would NEVER change my middle name. It's my birthmothers (i'm adopted) maiden name, and its going to be my first daughters first name, so, no. AND I'm really close to my father and, while I have a brother, I don't think he'll ever pass the name on and therefore, it kinda ends with me....but my bf wants me to take his name, and I hate hyphenating. BAH!
how attached are you to your middle name & your maiden name? Do you feel as if they contribute to your identity, and if so, which one does more? Or do you feel as if they're just names? Its a really personal choice so I'm not going to vote on a name. Just think of this way - what name makes you feel more comfortable? Does changing it in any way make you sad? Do you want the same name as your children? Does combining the two names into something new (a la opera singer Meisha Bruggergosman - "Measha's maiden name is Gosman. When she married Markus Bruegger, who is Swiss, the couple combined their last names: Brueggergosman.") appeal to you at all? :)
Good luck trying to figure it all out!
I like Tia Neely Kauffman. It flows well. Whatever you choose, though, you'll get used to it.
I don't have that same dilema. My name: Denise Ashley Neal. Jason's last name is Steele. I will NOT be Denise Neal Steele for the rest of my life because although I just told you that you'd get used to whichever name YOU picked, a rhyming name will never sound appealing.
Have you decided yet? And you tried signing the name? I'm having a hard time trying to get my signature to not look like it belongs to a serial rapists. It's awful.
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