Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Finally - proof is on my side!

Bryan and I are very unsure about having kids. We know they are not in the "five year plan," and the more I think about it the more I lean towards never. Now, this doesn't remotely mean I hate kids. But you tell anyone with children that you don't want kids, and they instantly think you are a horrible person. How could you NOT want this screaming-pooping-expensive-restrictive-boring-biting-dirty ADORABLE little guy/girl????

We have plenty of friends and family members with kids, and I'm completely content spoiling them. I can play with them, giving their parents a break, and hand them back after a few hours. Win/win for everyone. I still have money, flexibility with what I want to do, and I got to spend a few fun hours with a child I like, sanity still intact because I actually get to SLEEP at night.

The most recent double issue of Newsweek has an article finally giving me data to support why I don't want kids. As a researcher, I love data! Here are some of the highlights of the article:

"In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book 'Stumbling on Happiness,' the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child - and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids. Other data cited by 2008's 'Gross National Happiness' finds that parents are about 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless."

"Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions, and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers."

Take that!

4 comments:

Jess said...

I love kids and want them, but I would never judge anyone for not having kids, and sometimes I wonder if I'm insane for wanting them myself. Biological impulses triumph over logic, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

I don't mean to judge you I just wanted to make a comment about this. I have 6 children of my own and even though i can be quite selfish at times i can honestly say my life is much more fullfilled with purpose after having my own children. Of course, it is very trying at times but creating a child was the whole reason God made me a woman! I could never think of depriving myself of such a selfless act and selfless love above all others in this universe! Sure, it definitely is a serious and personal decision but there is nothing else that can match the overwhelming emotions of love and gratitude when you hold and kiss your baby for the first time! There's always hardship to something worth having or else it wouldn't be WORTH HAVING! I do support it being your's and your husbands decision alone and i hope you will give it more thought on the blessings a sweet child will bring into your lives as well, although you will never know this unless you experience this for yourselves:)! Good luck and best wishes!

Anonymous said...

I fully support your decision not to have children....

you're too selfish.

Anonymous said...

Tia,

100% agree. I love kids and I love giving them back and then getting sleep at night. That's why I foster kittens :) Cats not kids.

:) Dawn