Lilac festival changes

One of Rochester's big events is the Lilac Festival, which happens in mid-May every year. It has a parade, lots of craft booths, yummy fair food, live music, and cheesy little kid rides. Of course the highlight were all of the deliciously smelling lilac bushes - I think they had 50+ varieties that grow in the park. Last week I even bought a room spray in lilac because it reminds me of the festival.

Bryan and I have made it to 3 Lilac Festivals in a row. I thought it would be fun to show how we have changed.

2006 - Bryan's first trip to Rochester, a mere 3 months after we started dating. I was going out for the inspection on my house, and he decided to tag along and come see the city. In hindsight, we clearly both knew at that point we'd end up getting married. We went, prepared for cold, and they had record highs in the 70's that weekend. Bryan is going to kill me for this picture, since he's +20lbs or so here.

From Lilac festival 2007

2007 - Our second year together, and he has lived in Rochester for only a couple of weeks at this point, newly in nursing school. We took Lani and Cassie, and Lani took this picture (hence the morbidly obese guy in the background - what else can you expect from a 6-year-old?). Again, it was remarkably sunny and warm.

From Lilac festival 2007

2008 - We returned from our honeymoon just in time for the last day of the festival and to see Ingrid Michelson. We had come from 80-90 degrees and sunny, to 40 degrees and rainy in Rochester, so we weren't too happy. We faked a smile for this picture though :) One week later we left Rochester for good. I just won a grant in Rochester, so maybe I'll have to make one of my 3-4 annual visits in mid-May this coming year.

From Lilac festival 2008

More funnies

Bryan sometimes says to me sarcastically, "I bet you're going to put that thing I just said on your blog now." I think he secretly enjoys it. The one this morning was too good not to post.

Me (staring at the empty plate of brown crumbs on the table): Is a cupcake all you had for breakfast?

B: No. I had two cupcakes.

How the orthodontist ended up (and BB management is awful)

Many months ago I ranted about my orthodontist in these 2 posts. Someone recently commented that I never gave the ending of the story. Shame on me, because it is a good one!

For those of you who missed the story and didn't click on the link, I waited a very long time at 2 appointments while I had braces, and I was getting them off 6-12 months earlier than they had predicted. I called them wondering if there might be a discount. I know you pay for straight teeth, but my treatment was significantly shorter than they had estimated.

While I was down in Florida for the wedding, I got a call the day before while I was on my way to get my wedding dress pressed. It was the bookkeeper at the orthodontist's office, and she told me she talked to Dr. Kaufman about my case. He decided to WIPE OUT THE REST OF WHAT I OWED. I asked her to say it again, since I didn't believe it! It turned out to be be about $1,900 that I didn't have to pay. Awesome!
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On a completely different topic, I have to make it known how much BB Management is an awful company. We decided to move closer into the city once our apartment lease was up. I happened upon condo conversions that weren't selling, so they were renting them. I was wowed by the granite counters, SS appliances, pergo floors, and new carpet. The owner who did the flipping had left some things undone and the units have been vacant for awhile, but we were assured that all would be fixed when we moved in. BB Management doesn't do walk-throughs with new owners (we should have said no then), but they told us all was fine. Here is what we found when we moved in:
- the place was filthy
- there was a HOLE in the OUTSIDE wall where there was supposed to be a built-in A/C
- 2 of 3 drains didn't drain
- the hot water on the kitchen faucet and the cold in the tub didn't work
- we weren't given a key to the deadbolt, a key to the mailbox, or the garage door opener
- the heat doesn't work in the master bedroom
- the linen closet shelves are missing
- 2 pieces of granite backsplash in the kitchen aren't attached at all
- the fan cover in the bathroom is missing
- grout was missing in the bathroom floor
- the electrical outlets were missing the covers in the living room and bedroom
- and more that I'm forgetting

The management company basically told us that we were overreacting and that all of this was "just cosmetic." They claimed it wasn't their fault, it was the owner at fault. I'm confused, since on their website it says "we make sure everything is ready BEFORE you move in." It was also now our job to schedule all of the repair guys and let them in since we are the tenants. Um, yeah. We couldn't live in the place because we couldn't heat it due to the HOLE IN THE WALL. We said we wanted out of the lease, and they threatened to sue us for the entire length of the lease. We spoke to an attorney who said we could win in court, but unfortuantely we don't have the time to do all of that. The time off of work would have cost us too much.

We were able to move in 4 days late, with most things fixed (still no bedroom heat). I met the neighbor when we moved in, and she said she had the same AND MORE issues with BB Management. Same with the downstairs neighbor. Had we known this info, we for sure would have sued them. It is clear the management company is knowingly negligent and they know the condition of these condos. They were flipped quickly and the owner ran out of money, so he cut corners wherever he could.

My one consolation in this is that my sister was using BB Management as the marketing company for her place. I didn't know this, nor did she know I was working with them. She figured it out when I told her about the whole situation. She has now canceled her contract with them, and she said they weren't doing anything to market her property. Looks like their crappy service has already cost them one client.

We are in the new place now, and the up side is the location. We're locked in for a year, and we're hoping that things calm down now with BB since we are in (the neighbor said she almost lost her mind when they moved in, but 2 months later it is much smoother). Wish us luck!

"I think this is my favorite day of my whole life"

Those are some pretty strong words. Let's see what that day looks like in the world of Bryan.

Start here:

From Bend Nov 08

Step #1
Wake up in the king sized bed in this room:

From Bend Nov 08

From Bend Nov 08

From Bend Nov 08

Step #2
Open door to get the morning coffee waiting for you outside of your room.

Step #3
After enjoying morning coffee, walk downstairs for your custom breakfast. We both had a quiche-type thing with eggs, cream cheese, potatoes, cream, spinach and onions (me), bacon and mushrooms (him). He had a homemade caramel pecan roll, while I had a cinnamon roll. We also had a second cup of coffee, plus fresh grapefruit juice (me) and cranberry juice (him). Oh yes, he also had homemade white bread toast with local marionberry jam.

Step #4
Play a game of disc golf on the 9 hole course around the B&B

From Bend Nov 08

From Bend Nov 08

Step #5
After disc golf game, take a 2 mile walk in the sun around the B&B where you see this

From Bend Nov 08

Step #6
Head to spa for deep tissue massage and pedicure. Wait in this room while drinking wine in your robe

From Bend Nov 08

Step #7
Enjoy complimentary meal between services, which was a fabulous healthy treat after the gluttonous breakfast (with another class of wine).

From Bend Nov 08

Step #8
Head downtown to wander through the shops. End up at a happy hour and enjoy a local brew, tempura veggies with 3 dipping sauces, margarhetta(sp?) pizza, and cheese fries. Cheer on the Packers while said food is enjoyed. Declare day "the favorite of my whole life," even though more stuff is to come.

Step #9
Go back to B&B and grab fresh cookies and hot chocolate and milk waiting outside of our room

From Bend Nov 08

Step #10
Enjoy cookies and milk while watching DVD (Baby Mama) and relaxing on the couch with TWO footrests

From Bend Nov 08

Step #11
Sit in outdoor hot tub while gazing at the stars, unpolluted by city lights

Step #12
Crawl into king sized bed and feel so grateful for a weekend of relaxation and time to reconnect without worrying about moving, work, bills, etc.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, November 9, will mark 6 months since we got married. I can't believe it has been 6 months already. It has been a stressful 6 months:
- moving 2,700 miles
- finding a place to live
- house hunting (put on hold now)
- sickness (darn gallbladders)
- studying for the NCLEX
- 2 new jobs for B
- family drama
- car buying
and plenty of other things I'm sure I'm forgetting.

We've done plenty of fun things to balance the stress, including a long-weekend trip to Vegas, a trip soon to Bend (bed and breakfast, spa, and showshoeing), lots of fun meals out, and hanging out with friends.

Despite the stresses, being married is the best. I have someone that makes me laugh everyday (even on a grumpy day), someone that doesn't let me take myself too seriously, someone to give me perfect advice, someone to make me feel special, and someone who shares my goals in life.

Maybe 2 weeks ago I popped by his office in the middle of the day and brought cupcakes for everyone. He caught sight of me through the door, got the biggest smile on his face, ushered me in and planted a huge kiss on my lips in front of everyone exclaming "It's so great to see you baby!" Yep, he knows how to make a girl feel loved. Of course, I'm wondering if I would have gotten the same greeting had I been sans fancy cupcakes ;)

I was reading on someone else's blog the other day that she missed her fiance while she was at work. Someone commented that she knew she had never found "the one" because she hadn't ever missed anyone that she lived with. I think about Bryan all the time while I'm at work, missing him, hoping his patients that day have good veins, don't need a full hive work-up, and aren't spaced 14 in the span of an hour. I'm in Denver right now on the last day of a 4-day conference, and I've missed him terribly. It's the first time we've been apart since we got married. I'm looking forward to getting a big hug tonight, but mostly I'm looking forward to having my human electric blanket back. It's cold sleeping alone!

I'm off to do a presentation on working with an IRB (props if you even know what that is), but happy 6 months my love! It has been a great ride so far, and I'm looking forward to more.

As heard in the kitchen just now

For future reference, I like my meals to have two steps:

1 - microwave
2 - eat

Like this chai, that was perfect:

1- add water
2- drink

Ahh the simplicity of being a man.

Why we work

- We both squeeze the toothpaste from the middle
- We both hate crowds and agree that 10pm is the BEST time to grocery shop
- We both consider a bowl of cereal a perfectly appropriate dinner
- We both value "doing and seeing" over "stuff" (which is why we rent)
- We both know the power of "I'm sorry"
- We both agree that every meal should end with at least a little bit of chocolate
- We both are okay with a little clutter
- We both find kittens to be a hilarious source of entertainment
- We both agree that spending a bit more and shopping at Whole Foods is worth it emotionally, nutritionally, and consciously

Jess and Torsten

The blogging world is an interesting community. You "meet" people and become familiar with them through their daily musings. I found Jess through blog-hopping (Stacey to Emily to Kali to Jenn to Nilsa to Jess if you're interested!).

Jess and Torsten's engagement photo

Jess is getting married in a few short weeks, and some lovely blog friends of hers decided to throw her a surprise virtual bridal shower - since she didn't have a real one (good call Jess, I like you even more!). I thought this was a GREAT idea (so 2008) and jumped at the chance to participate since I love Jess's daily thoughtful, smart, and sincere daily blog posts. Part 1 was sending in some of our favorite recipes (I sent in my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and Bryan's low-carb tilapia if you're wondering). Part 2 was sending the recipes in a card to her real-life friend who is presenting them as a surprise with a beautiful recipe box and the cards at a lovely dinner (tonight!). Part 3 is to leave them some well-wishes on our blog for them to read when they get home from said dinner. So here goes (in purple, her favorite color):

Jess,

As a newlywed myself, let me tell you that marriage is wonderful. I love reading about the fantastic relationship you have found with Torsten. You seem to have all of the important parts covered - great communication, time for fun, a companion to work through hard issues, and an openness with each other that is vital for success. You clearly know that the important part isn't the wedding, it's the lifetime you have ahead of you. You are setting the stage for an amazing future, while having fun in the process (purple shoes! purple earrings! what fun!). I wish the two of you the happiest future, and I couldn't be more excited about your upcoming wedding! I eagerly await the pictures of you all beautifully adorned in your wedding gown, committing your life to your best friend. In a few weeks I'll welcome you to the married club. It's certainly a great club to belong to :)

Tia

The end of the wedding fun

Last Sunday we had our belated wedding reception in Portland at the beautiful McLean House. I highly recommend it if anyone is looking for a party or meeting venue - inexpensive, all the supplies you need, and beautiful grounds and house.

We had a fantastic time, and we were SO excited about all of the people that came from far and wide to celebrate with us. My Aunt Trish flew out from Atlanta (I hadn't seen her in 5 years), Bryan's Aunt Linda and Uncle Bill flew up from Sacramento (some of the nicest people I have met in a long time), my friend Stacey was visiting from Salt Lake, Bryan's parents were in town, my cousin Kelli came down for the day, and lots of local relatives/friends/neighbors/co-workers came out. I think there were about 50 people there, which was great considering how many people were away on vacation.

The Russell Street BBQ was enjoyed by all, as was the Eye of the Bee wine that we brought back from our favorite vineyard in New York.

Here are a few pictures, although I'm sure more will come as others send them to me. Us with our cake - top layer was carrot cake, bottom layer was chocolate with chocolate and raspberry filling. My favorite part was the blue bow on top, which was entirely made out of chocolate.Theo was dying to eat the bow, so we let him try part of the ribbon. Needless to say, after this no one ate the ribbon. That certainly isn't a natural color! Theo was a cute kid though, and he loved it.

Me with my cousin Kelli and Aunt Trish.
My family. After looking through the wedding pictures our photographer took, we sadly realized we didn't have any pictures with my entire family. This hopefully makes up for it. Note Bryan with his untucked shirt and flip flops. You can take the boy out of Florida, but you can't take the Florida out of the boy. I guess this is considered appropriate reception party attire to him. Sigh...it was a battle that wasn't worth fighting. Well, I guess I did fight it and he agreed to tuck in and change shoes after set-up, but he coyly "forgot." He's lucky I love him anyway :)

So after many months, lots of planning, flying all over, moving, and moving again, the wedding festivities have come to an end. We managed to stretch it out over 3 months! Thanks to my mom for helping make sure the reception went out without a hitch, and thanks to her fantastic co-workers who pitched in and helped us set up.

Now we're on to "real life," whatever that means. For now it means a new job for Bryan (with another one possibly looming on the horizon), tons of fun new things in our apartment, figuring out how to balance work and play, and a trip to Vegas over Labor Day. I think we'd both agree that we love being married (watch for his snarky comment in retort!), and things are going great. Now if only we could figure out how to merge two totally different financial systems.....we're all ears if you have any suggestions!

Should I.....

.....be offended when someone wants only one photo printed from my wedding, yet it doesn't include me in it?

Finally - proof is on my side!

Bryan and I are very unsure about having kids. We know they are not in the "five year plan," and the more I think about it the more I lean towards never. Now, this doesn't remotely mean I hate kids. But you tell anyone with children that you don't want kids, and they instantly think you are a horrible person. How could you NOT want this screaming-pooping-expensive-restrictive-boring-biting-dirty ADORABLE little guy/girl????

We have plenty of friends and family members with kids, and I'm completely content spoiling them. I can play with them, giving their parents a break, and hand them back after a few hours. Win/win for everyone. I still have money, flexibility with what I want to do, and I got to spend a few fun hours with a child I like, sanity still intact because I actually get to SLEEP at night.

The most recent double issue of Newsweek has an article finally giving me data to support why I don't want kids. As a researcher, I love data! Here are some of the highlights of the article:

"In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book 'Stumbling on Happiness,' the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child - and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids. Other data cited by 2008's 'Gross National Happiness' finds that parents are about 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless."

"Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions, and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers."

Take that!

Good deed #1

Sometimes I feel quite spoiled. I, along with my husband, grew up with parents who will still sometimes send us money to enjoy a nice dinner (which we are too frugal to go out for on our own) or they graciously help us furnish our new kitchen with some sparkly new items, because they know we will thrift hunt to save some money. We are very grateful to have fantastic sets of parents. I am also very lucky to have a great job that pays me pretty well. Because of our frugalness and amazing ability to bargain hunt, we've managed to furnish our apartment for the same amount we made selling our stuff before we moved. Wedding presents have filled in the gaps. Sometimes I'm brought to my knees when I realize how lucky we are to not worry about pennies anymore.

On Tuesday, a coworker mentioned in passing that she had accidentally gone WAY over in her cell phone minutes (totally unlike her, she's a straight-laced woman in her late 30's). She was feeling really stressed out about paying for it, because she struggles with money as a single woman. I've known her for about 3 years now, and she is a wonderfully kind woman that I just adore. It helps that she's really good at her job too :)

Unfortunately, she didn't know that she could beg them and they would probably reduce the bill, so she had already paid for it with her credit card. She said that she laid awake at night trying to figure out how she was going to be able to pay these new credit card charges because the interest would eat her alive. She formerly had a zero balance, so she usually lives within her modest means.

We aren't talking about a huge sum of money here, but it was fairly significant to her. I had a couple of checks lying around from my birthday, so I decided (with the okay of husband) to cash them and loan her the money so she could pay off her credit card and stop worrying about it. We feel extraordinarily lucky to not worry about money, and the loan to her wasn't enough money to make much difference to us.

I handed her the cash when no one else was around, and her jaw hit the ground. As she refused the money (which I knew she would), her eyes began to fill with tears. I insisted she take it as an interest free loan that she could pay back as she was able. $10 a month is fine with me if that is what she can afford. As her tears threatened to spill over, she reluctantly took the money and said she didn't know how to say thank you because this would make a HUGE difference in her life. She said she would pay it back with some interest, which I of course told her was silly.

She headed off on a planned vacation to see her parents the next day, and I felt really happy that I knew she could enjoy her trip and not worry about the stupid cell phone bill. She said it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her. I felt good about it, she felt relieved, and we were all happy. It was a nice win/win.

What good deeds have you done lately? Brag away!

I long time ago, I talked about a rough meeting that I had where I left in tears. It was part of a long, grueling process in working with a school district on a grant application. I am an evaluator, which means my piece is the evaluation section. However, this particular high need district had been rejected for this grant THREE times before, so I was heavily involved in re-vamping it.

Yesterday, we got the news.

THEY WERE FUNDED!

This is super news for myself (as I got this project going all on my own with my own connections) and super news for my work. All that hard work paid off, and we will be the evaluators for the next 4 years.

My sweet husband took me out to celebrate at Pastini. It was SO yummy and nice to be able to go out together (especially with the likely gall bladder removal in husband's future). The restaurant is in a new outdoor mall, so after dinner we walked around enjoying the nice summer night (and I got a shirt on sale at JCrew). It was fabulous to finally have a night that wasn't 50 degrees or 100 degrees!

Sand ceremony

Awhile back someone asked about the sand ceremony we had at our wedding.

A typical sand ceremony uses 2 glass containers filled with different colored sand - one for the bride, one for the groom. They each pour some into a third glass container separately, to represent their individual lives. Then they pour it in together, to represent the blending of their lives in marriage. The final container is then a nice keepsake from the wedding.

In ours, we decided to have our moms participate with their own colored sand, since they (and our dads) provided the foundation that made us who we are.

The vows that we used for the sand ceremony:

Bryan and Tia, today you join your separate lives together. The two separate bottles of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. They represent all that you are and all that you will ever be as an individual.

They also represent your lives before today. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into individual containers, so will your marriage be.

There are two women for which words could never relay the gratitude in our bride and groom's hearts, their mothers. Audrey and Diane you have contributed so much to Bryan and Tia's lives and they wish to symbolically thank you by inviting you to join them in their sand ceremony. Please come forward.

Diane and Audrey, we invite you pour some sand from your individual vases into the container to represent you giving them life, as well as all of your wonderful contributions to their lives. Without the two of you, and their fathers, providing them with a foundation of love and support, they never would have been the people they are today.

Tia, pour some of your sand which will represent you as an individual. Bryan, pour some of your sand which will represent you as an individual.

Bride and Groom, now pour your remaining sand into the container together to represent the joining of your two individual lives into this union of marriage

This isn't the best photo (there are some better ones under the professional photos), but you get the idea here:


There are companies that have the kit made for you (etching on the glassware, sand, etc), but they are fairly pricey. We decided to make our own using supplies from Michael's, and one evening we did the etching together. I think our final cost was $34, vs the $70 they wanted online.

#27

Today I officially crossed into my late 20's. Unfortunately, due to a husband who is still fairly sick, the need to work for a paycheck, and a new apartment to finish unpacking, we won't be doing much celebrating. My family is coming over with an ice cream cake, which will be d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s. Hopefully we can finally give happy hour a try this weekend as a belated celebration.

Work is calling...more updates later!

Official wedding photos

www.pictage.com/432163

You can see them all at the link above. Overall I'm pretty happy with them. You'll have to register to see them, but it's free. If you go look, let me know which are your favorites. We only get 10 for free, then we have to pay for any others we want.

The exciting news from the last post has been somewhat dashed. It's a long story and was about a job offer, but I'm totally over it since I have a job I really like with the most fantastic people. I hadn't even been seeking out a job, so I'm not disappointed in anything except the horrific way I was treated for no reason I can figure out.

We do have a new place to live, which is great. Buying new stuff together is so much fun, but requires a level of compromise that I hadn't thought about! We're just about done with the big stuff though, and once Bryan feels better we can finally move there for good.

Bryan's been really sick with unexplained GI issues, that a bunch of dummies have said is just GERD, even after being so sick he spent time admitted to the hospital. He's lost 14lbs since coming back to Portland, and zero food stays down. Thankfully we finally got into a GI specialist, and he's great. The abdominal ltrasound was today, and the endoscopy is Friday. Hopefully he'll get some answers then, because you all know how much we like to eat :)

More photos!

We have lots of exciting news on the horizon, but I'll save all of that for a future post (and no, it's NOT a baby!). For now, here are more pictures. I've had tons of requests, and I know how much I enjoy wedding photos too. You can see in some of them how windy it was!

The handsome groom and my best friend and her baby.


Dad and I, walking down the "aisle"


Sand ceremony


Getting married, overlooking the ocean


Who knows what is going on!


Married!


Sisters in the sunset


Smoochin


Chatting with a stranger. That bald guy was so enthralled with us that after our conversation, he started walking with us, totally forgetting about his wife walking the other way!


Cake cutting


Dinner...check out Bryan's drink in a bucket. He managed to finish two of them.

I won!

I seriously never win anything, but today I won a contest at NieNie's blog

My prize?? Some Orville Redenbacher popcorn! Yum! I won because I said I deserved it after going a year with no popcorn due to braces, which just came off in May. Yay for winning!

For all of you that have been dying for wedding pictures, here are just a couple to wet your palate. I'm STILL waiting for the professional ones.

OIP

OIP= Only in Portland

We arrived safe and sound back in Portland Sunday evening, and now we're experiencing culture shock. I'm a Portland native, yet somehow being gone for almost 2 years (minus some time in the middle) was enough to forget how strange Portland is. People drive around here with bumper stickers that say
(as a small aside, in looking for that image I discovered there is an entire website for Keep Portland Weird).

Portland is weird. Yesterday we went to work/study at a local coffeeshop. There is only one table with plug-ins, so I shared it was a woman most likely in her early 50's. She chatted with me, at which point her gold tooth became so distracting I couldn't look at anything else. Her long grey hair was pinned back, and she was drinking some kind of hippy mint tea. She went on and on about how great this tea was, and shared it with me, telling me about her work with a local hippy organic store and the Oregon Country Fair (a hippy weekend long fair in Eugene, the hippy capital of the nation). She was really nice, just so "Portland." This is after being served my coffee by a dreadlocked server, while a big sign proclaimed "We now serve hemp milk." Hemp milk? I've never heard of it! OIP.

Fast forward to the drive to the realtor's office to make an offer on a condo. While waiting to make a left turn at a light, I come into the middle of a battle between a biker and a car. This is not uncommon in Portland, where it is hip to bike, but bikers are aggressive, nasty, hoity-toity people (for the most part). I don't know what had transpired, but they were arguing very loudly with lots of swear words. The driver got out and I thought they would fight, but they just screamed more. He got back in his car, the yelling continued, and the biker reached out and punched the guy's car with all of his might. The pissed off driver squealed his tires and took off. OIP.

We're happy to be back, and looking forward to trying out all of the restaurants that have opened in our absence. We've already got plans for our first "Back in Portland Happy Hour" this Friday. But getting used to this town again is going to take some time for sure!

Made it

We're here, safe and sound at home, but very, very tired. Four LONG days of driving 15 hour days. Can't wait for the weekend already.